Biting

I'm horny.

Thought I should say it right up front and hope that that explains whatever I write from here on in. Though really, I'm not sure of anythings ability to explain me today, and now that I have explained the reason I probably won't write anything that needs explaining.

Didn't do much today really... this whole week has been one big slacking off fest. I don't think I have done this LITTLE work since god knows when, high school? Woke up after a ridiculously intense dream, and didn't do much all day. I had plans to get up, and clean my room a bit, put my clean clothes away... and it didn't happen. I watched Lie to Me and The Mentalist, and slept a bit (stupid cold).

People came over, people left, and eventually I mentioned something about going bowling, and then retracted the suggestion as the levels of exhaustion are still high. We went on a late night food run to Safeway and got random stuffs... I then burned my finger getting some of it out of the oven :(

AND THEN... fun with ice, and biting, and the many suggestions of lesbian threesomes from Alex. (I know they were jokes, or mostly so, but its a good segue :D)

Good time, at least on the blogmind, to express why I say no to offers of sex.
I need to trust whoever I would be getting naked with, and trust is a hard thing for me to give (especially to guys).
I won't be doing anything with someone I don't like in that way. I have had some experiences (Halloween parties) in which I did things with people I didn't like like that, and regretted it later.
Most of the people who offer are creeps.
I have issues.
My treatise on Sex and What It Means to Me is still forthcoming.

So now Ari is forbidden to bite like she was tonight, and I am going to sleep topless for the first time in awhile, piercing safely tucked behind a bandaid. I miss sleeping completely naked, and the feeling I got when stretching in the sunlight in the morning... harder to do now that my bed is the same level as my window.

It's raining tonight... it gives me too much time to think. I really need to stop thinking, especially as I have had this headache for a long while now and would like it to go the fuck away.

I hate being able to see and not have,
Hear and not do,
Want and not fulfill.

Goodnight.

3am: And as a final note, I really like my face/body right now... Helped, no doubt by Alex and Ari being ridiculous and awesome earlier :D. Its a very nice feeling, and I hope it continues to the rest of the weekend.

Tata!