Song

Woke up today at 9 to a call from my aunt, offering her spare room as my home-base once the house is sold. Which is TOTALLY awesome, considering I won't have a place to go. I might still need a storage unit, but will jump that bridge when I come to it.

As it is, my dad seems to have an idea about where I could stay, rent free, for the quarters I may or not be at Ev. Hint: my house, until it's sold.

So... I really do not want to do that. Honestly, I have no where to live right now, but. I only get 1 year and maybe 6 months of being a 'normal' college student, at least in living situation. I don't want to be an hour away from everyone, 100mile roundtrip, farfaraway.

Much less, I'm sorry. Me, by myself in a house, for months at a time?

I'll become a crazy cat lady. Or crazy dog lady. Or just plain fucking insane.

On the other hand, I could finally have parties. And be naked all the time. And free rent.

Fuck.

I might end up living here.

FUCK.

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So, fell back asleep and woke again around noon. Had breakfast and doodlebibpt'd around for approx 3 hours, then took a nap, and THEN started on my chores.

To conclude, I weedwhacked my toe, and my other big toe got snagged on a blackberry.

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Also, FUCK. I leave tomorrow and haven't done any packing. Everything is washed, but definitely not packed. Or sorted. Or delineated in any way.

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Finished my chores, got in the car to go get sis from gparents, to get there and find out that she had A) already eaten and B) was going to take a MILLION YEARS to get her stuff together. Which she did. And then we drove to food. And I ate chowder... which was a bad idea. But it was delicious!

I regret nothing.

Ate, talked a bit, headed home.

Got home, changed into pj's, got online.

Which is where I have been tonight, listening to some amazing music:

Find A Way by SafetySuit

"And if I was running you'd be the one who I would be running to
And if I was crying you would be lining the cloud that would pull me through
And if I was scared then I would be glad to tell you and walk away
But I am not lying, I am just trying to find my way in to you

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me
You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay
I don't care what clothes you wear, its time to love and I don't care
You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me"

Anywhere But Here by SafetySuit:

"I wonder
If maybe
Maybe I could be
All you ever dreamed, cause you are

Beautiful inside
So lovely and I
Cant see why I'd do anything without you, you are
And when I'm not with you
I know that it's true
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you

Is this a natural feeling
Or is it just me bleeding
All my thoughts and dreams
In hope that you will be with me or
Is this a moment to remember
Or just a cold day in December?
I wonder
If maybe
Maybe I could be
All you ever dreamed, cause you are"

Songs that make me happy/sad/wistful/hopeful.

Someday
Someday someone will want me
Someday they will do something about it
Someday someone will love me
Someday I will get to do the things I read about, dream about

But somedays are getting hard to bear
Someday may never come
What if my someday is just there
And I turn away, hide my face

Someday may be too far away
I may lose what hope I have
Its hard when you realize you are fulfilling
the predictions of a book
That always-elusive Someday.

Heylook. I just wrote a thing that might be a song in my head. We shall see.

Soooo now I head to bed, or at least to try to sleep.

I have a feeling the thoughts in my head are going to keep swirling, and my containment system has broken down.

Hug needed.