Nothing left

I really REALLY want to ask my newlywed acquaintance type peoples about their sex life.

Partially cause I'm fuckin' curious.

And partially cause I want to check and see if the UBER born again christian - that I had so many *interesting* discussions with - can get it up.

Yes kids, in case you somehow missed it...

I'm somewhat rude, crude and lewd.

Cuuuuuurious though, so very curious. I know their sexual histories, and why they became christian. but I also know that they JUST GOT MARRIED AT 20. Which, not gonna lie, freaks me out and makes me wonder at the same time.


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Also. I should never go on anti-anxiety meds cause if they turn one into a zombie that doesn't care about what happens when they do something...

And then add it to my already-issued aspect of "I really just wanna do/say that and see what happens cause not knowing is KILLING ME."

I'm pretty sure some very bad and very good things would happen all at once.

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Why are there SO many different kinds of pain?

There is all of the physical varieties;
Stabbing
Clenching
Ripping
Stretching
Cramps
Restriction
The list goes on.

And then there are all the kinds of mental pain.
The pain at loss
At grief
At loneliness
At... so many things.

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I want to cry, to scream, to laugh, to paint...

To do SOMETHING.

But my mental self is stuck in a physical shell.

And that physical shell?

It has no energy for any of those.