Sunday/Monday

Lets see... Sunday morning. I went to church with Si and Kels, which was fine. Sam and I had a chance to talk for a few before he had to be at a meeting. Turns out he and Si and I are going to be sleeping in the same room at SEAT, which will be interesting indeed.

After church went to coffee with Kels and Si and Robbie, and talked about things... Being home for the weekend was good for me. I got a chance to talk through a lot of things that needed to be said (so I wouldn't end up resembling a soda bottle that had been shaken) but without damaging anything.

Went home, took a shower, and headed for the family lunch. My grandpa shares the same birthday as me, and because of various sicknesses my grandma hadn't been able to have her party, so we had a Birthday Lunch for all three of us :D It was delicious, and then headed back to the grandparents house for cake and presents. I got a single-serving teapot, and an electric kettle, and a lovely suitcase, and various other things. OH! And all of the National Geographics evar from 1888-2008 on DVD. :D :D :D

After cake my Aunty and I talked a lot about all the various things that are causing stress. Most of it is related to my schooling, and that I am not loving Evergreen as much as I was hoping I would. Blah blah angst blah... Now I consider what I could do next year.

Went home, spent some time watching a British comedian with my Dad before I passed out. I told him about what went down with Daniel and he was shocked at first and then calmer about it... But I don't think I will be putting them near each other any time soon.

Fell asleep, woke up around 11, ate tirmisu and non-dairy ice cream and read romance novels all day.

I cried again... but this time for the me that could have been. I like to think that she exists in an alternate world from me, a world where my mom didn't die. My dad has a large picture of my mom in his room, and her hats are still hanging up... I just got into this thought-loop about her and what I am missing by not being able to ever speak to her again or be able to give her a hug, or to ask her advice. I wonder what I would be like, if she had gotten better, or not sick at all. I wish I had the chance to know.

Cried myself to sleep, then woke up when my sister got home. We made french toast and bacon and then I went back to my dad's bed to read and sleep and she went to her bed to sleep. Dad came home and we watched a Cold Case show, also British. Eventually we migrated into the living room so I could try to write my professor evals, and I got a message from Alex asking when I would be back. So I went back to collegeHome and hung out with everyone for a while before we all fell into sleeps.