I wouldn't do it, even if I could. Part of that is the SERIOUS amounts of guilt that just seem to bubble up anytime I do something that could ruffle feathers. I don't do or say things because I fear seeming stupid, because I don't like to hurt others, because I don't like opening myself up to the possibility of being hurt. I can't seem to keep myself safe though... my subconscious does it for me sometimes, but othertimes I cannot block fast enough and it feels as though my lungs have been taken and all that there is is me, gasping for air. Maybe a better analogy... being trapped in an immensely strong bubble that allows no air in and I am slowly using up what I had. I can look around me and see air, see others, but no one stops to help me break the bubble and no air gets to me.
I feel guilty for hurting people when I imagine the hurting. I feel guilty for things I did years ago.
Thats what I want to change, what I want to get rid of, why I want to borrow some people's minds... You can have my guilt. You can have my pain. I just want to be without ANYTHING for awhile.
ir a principal |
Ir a lateral
"If Ignorance Is Bliss..." Blog by I.C.S. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at ifigisbliss.blogspot.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at Leave a Comment .
I am alone, born alone and die alone. Be with me for awhile?
A few quotes...
"I just feel like people would be so much happier if they just dropped all the pretense and mindgame bullshit in relationships and just went for it, you know? Like 'fuck it, I'm gonna try and make this work.'"
-Marten, Questionable Content
"Before the Big Bang, before matter, energy, velocity, there existed a single immeasurable state called yearning. This is the special force that on the day before there were days, obliterated nothing into everything. It is the unseen strings tying planets to stars. It's the maddening want we feel from first breath to last light."
- Mary, In Plain Sight
"[We] once again toast the palpable color, form and grace with which we stand up and dance against the night."
-MSN Movie Review
"Everything is Awesome.
Fundamentally."
- Bickford Shmeckler "Bickford Shmeckler's Cool Ideas"
"The rules of nature,they can only happen, and the rules of life, you can only do. They're different, Nature & Life."
-American Elf
"I felt like I was looking over the edge of the world. And it was a moment when all was right with the world: The music was all around and inside us... I had never felt in my whole life like I did then: Zen. Suddenly the Miss America wish for world peace seemed brilliant. Maybe if enough people made that wish we could do huge things, make things happen just from our thoughts and good intentions and all be shiny happy people. And this much was clear now: It was no passive homogenous creature, identity, but rather diversity, a thrashing, grinding, and all-out dirty dancing together. It moved and it grooved and it might even sleep with you before marriage. You were the dancer and the dance, and you could shape yourself through a riff, or a shrug, or an on-the-back spin, adapt to new rhythms without losing a sense of harmony with yourself. And harmony, that was no static thing either, but many different parts coming together to sing the same song.
And the beat, well. The beat you had to follow was your own heart." Born Confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier
-Marten, Questionable Content
"Before the Big Bang, before matter, energy, velocity, there existed a single immeasurable state called yearning. This is the special force that on the day before there were days, obliterated nothing into everything. It is the unseen strings tying planets to stars. It's the maddening want we feel from first breath to last light."
- Mary, In Plain Sight
"[We] once again toast the palpable color, form and grace with which we stand up and dance against the night."
-MSN Movie Review
"Everything is Awesome.
Fundamentally."
- Bickford Shmeckler "Bickford Shmeckler's Cool Ideas"
"The rules of nature,they can only happen, and the rules of life, you can only do. They're different, Nature & Life."
-American Elf
"I felt like I was looking over the edge of the world. And it was a moment when all was right with the world: The music was all around and inside us... I had never felt in my whole life like I did then: Zen. Suddenly the Miss America wish for world peace seemed brilliant. Maybe if enough people made that wish we could do huge things, make things happen just from our thoughts and good intentions and all be shiny happy people. And this much was clear now: It was no passive homogenous creature, identity, but rather diversity, a thrashing, grinding, and all-out dirty dancing together. It moved and it grooved and it might even sleep with you before marriage. You were the dancer and the dance, and you could shape yourself through a riff, or a shrug, or an on-the-back spin, adapt to new rhythms without losing a sense of harmony with yourself. And harmony, that was no static thing either, but many different parts coming together to sing the same song.
And the beat, well. The beat you had to follow was your own heart." Born Confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier
CC License
"If Ignorance Is Bliss..." Blog by I.C.S. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at ifigisbliss.blogspot.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at Leave a Comment .
Search Box
Text
Copyright © 2008 If Ignorance Is Bliss...
Design by Styleshout
| Blogger template by
Blog and Web
0 comments:
Post a Comment