Daze

Days daze dayse.

Church in the AM, woke at 8 anyhow, 6 hours of sleep is not enough. Church church church... wrote myself a letter, to be opened in a year.

Managed to melt my motherfucking retainer, which BLOWS. Left it in the sun on accident, apparently that is enough to make it melt/bend enough that it fucking hurts while it's in my mouth. Doesn't seem to have taken any true structural damage, just bent a little bit.

Did I mention that my dad wants me to stop swearing? I think I did. It's not going to fucking happen.

Anyways, went to the beach after church (and cake) and then I chose to be a 'responsible adult' and went home instead of out shopping at Ross with the girls. My reward? Sore hands from cutting up a medium amount of brush in the backyard. This summer is sure to get me stronger forearms at the very least, though if I continue to injure myself at this rate (dropped pruners today, cut my ankle) I may have blood loss issues! Dramatic, I know. But plants have a way of making me bleed that is rather amazing (see scar on neck for details).

Not feeling so great now, but I'm going to be getting up in 6 hours, so I'm going to have to get the fuck over that.

Rumination time!

Now, why the fuck do I blog? I don't really want a ton of people to be reading this, but at the same time, having these thought processes out in writing, where others can see/comment? It helps my brain sometimes.

I think it is the same phenomenon as with random people with really nothing to say who post a fuckton of youtube videos about their lives. I am posting a fuckton of blogs about the nothingness that is my life. Not to say that nothing happens in my life, it does. But it's not anything huge or world changing that I can see, nothing that is literally changing the world.

Part of it is that I can write these and then remind myself, later in my life, what I was like at this time. What I was like in my first year of college where I lived away from home, what I was thinking.

The problem with that is, I will not necessarily remember the cryptic hints that totally make sense now. Reading over my diary from when I was 10? Some shit I have NO IDEA what is going on. Hence my desire to just lay it all out there on this blog, which I will not do.

Except to say that he knows, and I don't care.

Thats kinda a lie... I do care, obviously. But my caring or lack thereof changes nothing. I cannot do/say/fake/act/react in any way that will make someone like me, so I will learn not to care.

I'm done with the high school bullshit.
---
Just did a typing test, to see how fast I type... 59 wpm with Shakespeare no less :P.

Really want to go for a walk, but again. Up in 6 hours (less really), and it's not safe to walk around here alone sadly. At least not at 12:30 in the morning.

The van is unpacked, I have 17 million loads of laundry to do, a room to clean and a whole bunch of shit to throw away.

It is time.