So... I haven't written for awhile. I am now in a different housing building, in a different but adjacent apartment from Ari, which is pretty weird but ok. We've been spending a lot of time at the guys place due to feeling pretty odd at our own. I hung out with two of my new apartment-mates today and watched some Star Wars after a couple hours of nap.

Really, I am still on the third floor, I have a great view of trees still, Ari is still down the hall (albeit, out the door and in the other door), this apartment is nice and clean and LACKS a screaming roommate. I think yes. Its just going to be a bitch getting our stuff out of the other appt, plus packing it all up, unpacking for a week and repacking. Fucking sucks.

I went over to the guys place by myself tonight, somewhat accidentally. Zach is back from Japan, so I was curious to see how the group dynamics change, and they did quite a lot. I'm wondering/hoping if/that they will change back, or at least be modified once he has settled back in a little, but I doubt it. All in all, it was a mostly lovely evening spent mostly listening to Zach, though I did get a few words in at some points. He is right, those who talk loudest and fastest tend to rule.

And then Daniel happened, again. According to Tyler, my fault. I accept some culpability in this case, but Daniel does not know how to deal with people in a socially acceptable manner, and I honestly have no appreciation left for his company. He has now graduated to the level of 'necessary evil' because he is so often around at the guys place.

While I imagine most people do not like getting yelled at, I hate it. If I start it, or deserve it? Then at least I can try to understand. But when it is either unneeded, or I can see no way that I deserved it? No.

And now I've pissed Tyler off, because I spoke my mind for once. He has unheeding loyalty to someone who has hurt me physically and emotionally. Maybe I'm just too hung up on the part where he hurt me. Maybe I just need to get over it.

Maybe I just can't.

So much right now I want to leave this stupid place.

Do you know what it is like, realizing that there is no one who will protect or defend you from the bad things in life? I didn't, up until now. Now I do, and I sincerely wish none of you ever do.